It seems that for most of us, one of the biggest goals in our lives is to find The One, and fall in love. It is a topic that saturates films, TV, and songs, and even if you aren’t a hopeless romantic, you probably want to find a partner you can share a life with, go on adventures with, and become a team in the day-to-day practicalities of life. Of course, there are many frogs masquerading as princes, so how can you tell if you have met The One?
You feel safe
A partner that you are supposed to be with should make you feel safe, in every sense of the word. You shouldn’t be worried that they are being unfaithful, or that they will hurt you in any way, and if they do ever do any of those things, you are probably with the wrong one.
You make each other better people
Although your partner should accept you for who you are, they should also give you the drive and motivation to reach for your goals. Perhaps they push you to go for the promotion or help you eat healthier. There is a big difference in changing for someone and motivating each other to become the best versions of yourselves.
You want similar things
Opposites attract, but when it comes to the key elements in life, such as having children and getting married, it’s pretty important that you are on the same page. If he wants a brood of 10 and you can’t think of anything worse than having a baby, you are probably not compatible, at least not for the future. You can’t just hope that the other person will change their mind – compromise is essential, but there is a line!
They make you happy
This is a really simple one, but you would be surprised how often it isn’t the case in a relationship. Sure, things aren’t always going to be rainbows and butterflies, but your partner should make you happy more than they make you sad or angry. If this is the other way around, they are not The One!
You work as a team
A partner should be precisely that, a partner. There shouldn’t be a power struggle between you, and you should feel as though you have a teammate in all that life throws at you. When things are difficult for you, they will be willing to help, and when it is their turn to go through hardship, they can trust that you will support them, too.
You can be comfortable in silence
In the beginning, it may have been all about butterflies, long kisses goodnight and excitement, however that level isn’t always sustainable. If your partner really is The One, the move to a more comfortable place should not be a negative thing. Your heart might not skip a beat every time you see them after you’ve been together for ten years, but you should feel comfortable and happy together. You don’t need to always to be making conversation; you can be just as satisfied in companionable silence.
Ultimately, you will know if they are The One. You will feel it, and won’t even have to ask the question. If you have doubts, the likelihood is that perhaps you haven’t met your soulmate yet. Keep kissing those frogs!